I Think I’m Okay

I don’t know why, but I think life is getting better for me. Maybe it’s because I started looking up to this band that really cares about their fans and it made me feel loved for some reason. But then sometimes I get so sad about little things and then I get hurt. I take things so seriously and I hate myself for that.

Anyway, this is just an update on how I’m doing. And I want to let something out. I like someone, and I am so mad because I don’t want to like him. I don’t know why, I just really don’t. He’s not even cute, oh my god.

Okay, so I started liking him when we played football in PE and we were both going for the ball and so we crashed into each other, when we got up, he asked me if I was okay and so I was like, “Yeah, it’s just my foot hurts but other than that, I’m fine.” and then I don’t know what came to him but he started teasing me he kept giving me these funny faces and he was so cute (I know I said he’s not cute, but he was cute at that time, okay), I just wanted to pinch his cheeks and tell him to take me on a date and stuff. But I don’t even know him and I think I only like him because of the attention he gave me. I am so torn.

Also, today, I felt so bad for myself because while my brother was at homecoming, I was locked up in my room stalking some band and I still think my life is better. Sad, innit?

So what I’m trying to say is that I think I’m okay now. I’m clean for almost two months now and I’m trying my best to stay clean. I just hope it goes well.